21/11/08
what happen this few days really trigger back my memories which i tried to hide or should i say avoid..
i've been avoiding what's happen in the past few months..
ya..
that thing that made me fell into depression state..
ya..
indeed..
i've nv really get over what's happening..
and ya..
i've been hiding myself well and safe..
i thought by laughing my way through school i will forget or should i say avoid me from thinking of it..
but ya..
a small little thing that happen recently really made me think of the past
and ya..
wat jo told me about how he is so sad sometimes
and the feeling of helplessness do made me feel so sad..
i do wish to go forward and ask and console and perhaps cheer him up abit..
but ya..
he won't like it de rite?
hmmm..
wat happen recently really set me into deep thoughts..
and ya..
i cried..
not only yesterday yesterday but also today..
in a stupid TKB lec..
his lec is simply too boring i can say that
it can made me anyhow think until i cannot take it ..
and just walk out of the lec room and let my tears flow down..
i can't really take it seriously..
i have been thinking how bad i was..
being so loud and ya..
maybe so inconsiderate about people's feeling..
feel super bad though..
I never felt so angry for so many years to a fren seriously..
feeling angry is one part of it..
but after deep thinking..
it do makes me think about what kind of friend am i..
am i someone who is so bad?
or someone that people do consider as a fren?
.
.
.
blah blah blah..
today that stupid ding hor..
she hor...
ruin my SURPRISES again..
she damn toot de lah.
or i also damn toot de..
hahahaha..
i always can't surprise her..
-_-
and that made her happy! -_-
she dun love surprises -_-
LOL.
scorpio are weird pple who like to reveal the secrets..
seriously they can go be detective..
ahahahaha...
bringing back her present is damn toot can?
hahahaha
but do hope she enjoy herself over there =D

sitting alone at the usual place we used to sit at century square food court..
drinking a super bitter black coffee which made my heart beat so fast...
staring at the couple sitting infront of me..
it do make me look abit pathetic..
but ya..
people who go food court all hang up in groups and pairs..
and i am the only one in a lone and occupying 3 tables.
do sound stupid.
do love to eat when u are around me last time..
because that's the only way i can spent more time with you.
hahahaha..
eating is an excuses..
hahaha..
hate to eat now..
as i hate eating alone..
i rather starve myself than to eat alone in food court or canteen.
moreover i can lose weight =D




daddy keep saying i'm FAT lah -_-
mummy have been very angry that i still working =(
she keep scolding me..
and i hate people raising their voice on me..
ya..
i've already been so stressed about everything..
and my dear parents..
can't you give be a better environment somewhere?
-_-